radical love

this is radical. it cuts to the heart of the matter. it is the medicine this world needs. thank you for your courage and your offering. please send all of my love to yourself, your daughter, laura and edie.

i love you.
catherine
10/22/07

Home Away From Home

The Whole RV Bunch

Laura the RV Drivin' Rockstar

Be Part of the Experiment!

New York and D.C.

Early in the wee hours

With NYPD Blue

St. Patrick's Cathedral

Hello Loves

Munch!

At The White House

The RV

Separateness

I'd like to explore this idea of separateness for a moment, if I may. For me, there are entire days that I am overtaken by a great sadness for the little boy I have never met nor heard of somewhere in Africa, in a town where I have never been who I imagine is staring into the eyes of a boy not much older than himself telling him to kill his own mother. I'm sure the psychologists would have something to say about this but I share this with you now because I think the important thing about this sadness is to turn it into a catalyst. To use it as a tool or teacher to drive you forward in the world. To drive you to action. If this boy does not concern you, perhaps there is a boy in your town, or your family, or perhaps this boy is you. We can talk all day about the thought and intention of things and I think this aspect is important but I believe we were given these bodies for more reasons than we could possibly know. They are magic. And magic must have a purpose even if that purpose is only to exist. And existing is such an amazing gift, isn't it?

Connecting and feeling connected to this boy in Africa or, as we drive across farm country in Ohio, to the land and the farmer in his plow, this often is not my difficulty. But to the people in this RV, this is my trick. This is where my challenge lies. How, in the quiet moments when I am all alone in the back do I trust that I am still a third to the twosome that sits up front laughing about something I may never know. Or when, yesterday, as I traversed off to light a candle for Asa Coon, the boy who killed himself in Ohio after injuring 4 others, I found we were lighting three. I liked to imagine one was for Asa and all those who have been labeled evil in our collective history, another for the children who would return, eventually to the school as well as those injured, and the third for all those who have not yet been recognized as Love. For all the boys and girls who harbor the pain and, with no clue how to direct it may one day find an outlet that hurts those around them, that they might see this little light, or even feel it on some level as an acknowledgment of hope. I think it was Stephen Post who wrote that after the atrocities of 9/11 someone asked Mr. Fred Rogers what we should tell the children and he replied, "Tell them to keep their eyes on the helpers." I do not believe lighting a candle, or names etched into a monument or prayer is focusing on the terrible acts of war, or the terrible acts of evil doers, or even death. I believe these little acknowledgments are of the beauty, the hope. And that act is no more or less natural than say a tree which could be said to also be an acknowledgment of the beauty and magic that exists in our world, or a child, or a smile. David Spangler spoke a bit about this in our interview with him. Why this need to transcend this lovely and painful business of the earthly world? How can we question God? And it was the Gospel of Thomas that said, "The Kingdom of Heaven is here on earth."

I am fond of describing the experience of Hello Love using the metaphor of clothing. As we walk through our daily lives we put on all these layers that cover our "bodies" and it is in the moment of hello love that we find all the rest falls off and we stand there naked and connected to the entire world. I practice, in part, so that I might learn to walk through the world always in this way. I find that at a certain emotional closeness my own "clothes" come flying back on. The clothes of doubt and insecurities. Perhaps it has something to do with a belief that I don't have something to offer... Something about self-worth? Something about self-soothing, and being all right inside no matter what is going on outside.

"How could you not?"

Ah, so exhausted tonight. David Spangler was such an amazing man to interview while remaining totally accessible. I find myself struggling with the idea that these moments of embodying love are still only those... moments. I remember coming home from a yoga retreat recently completely enveloped in bliss. I was love. I still believe I'm love but the radiance that emanated from me in this state I speak of was undeniable and something somewhere has been lost. There has been a closing on some level inside me and it disappoints me. See, we say this, we say things like "embody love" but I don't really like it. Because it implies being something, taking on some form we are not.

We are love.

So then, for a moment, I was able to live as I truly am. As my true self.

But what I wonder is, why in that soft space between wake and sleep do we rush to put on all these other things? Why do we hurriedly, unabashedly become worriers, rushers, late bill payers, complainers, dirty dish makers, butchers or bakers, or candlestick makers? Why do we hurry to take on pain, fear, anxiety, guilt?

I'm on the plane now to New York. We're over Iowa. The sun is setting gently so that the far away clouds are blushing the slightest pink. We are above the cloud line so that below, and as far as I can see there is a sea of softness, and above, limitless space. For a moment I marvel at the magic of this space and this blanket below me, a blanket of water suspended in the sky like cotton.

I think of Joseph Campbell's suggestion to have a place where you go every morning before you've heard the morning news or read the paper. A place where you go to do exactly what you love, read a magazine or listen to music no one else likes. For some reason I cannot remember what he called this but the idea of it ties into where I am right now above these clouds, writing to you, and to myself. It's soul food. It's beginning, or ending with gratitude, with peace, from a sacred place -- I mean the place we reach inside. This is where I am when I can really drop in and greet you as love. This is where I see you. I think the exterior is only a door, a tool.

So again I wonder, how did we get to this place where we cover ourselves with so many exhausting, needless layers? How did we get to a place where we feel more comfortable feeling fear or anger than love?

Our gathering last night was hosted by a woman named Anne. I had the most beautiful feeling I knew her. Not that she seemed familiar but that I was arriving at the house of an old friend. As she sat there across from me it was as though I had known her forever. I believe this is what the world would feel like if each of us saw love in the other (and ourselves). We talked about how it feels safer when we come from this place of love, when we meet people in this place. As I sat pondering this I began to feel the most incredible feeling of safety even within my own little "family" sphere. I felt so held. My childhood friend, Sarah, had come though we hadn't seen each other in eight years. Rhonda, my friend of 10 years, and my dear friend, Casey, who had planned to but ended up not being able to come. My mother sat at the hotel room with Kate and Aedan tirelessly playing whatever role they might decide she should play in their imaginary worlds. My father, my grandparents, aunts and uncles, in-laws and out-laws... suddenly I saw how much I was supported and loved. I thought about those that don't have this. But I believe it's possible for everyone to feel this way. I wish there was a way to tell every person who doesn't feel supported or seen, I will be this person for you. I am here for you. I believe in you.

I am quick to talk about the simplicity of Hello Love. I truly believe that its profundity lies in its simplicity. And yet I see that the process to get there within myself is as difficult as I let it be. What would fill all this space in my brain that right now is the chatter of fear and worry? If I let all that go what would be left? (This is the space of the unknown where we have to invite trust. A space we reach when acknowledging love whether within ourselves or another. A space that I will have to talk about at another time because it is so important.) What would come to take it's place? These are questions we could ask ourselves. But now I'm making it sound more complicated than it needs to be, more complicated than it is.

In the end one question returns to me again and again when myself or someone I meet hesitates to stand in love, or to greet another with love:

If you know this to be true.

And, if you knew there was even the slightest possibility that with this one little greeting, this moment FULL of potential as well as risk, could change the world -- how could you not seize it, how could you not extend it, how could you not?

It can be this little!

Today, I was leaving Trader Joe's when I noticed a convertible Corvette parked so boldly next to my dirty station wagon plastered with "Hello Love." As I finished loading my grocery bags into the back, a dapper man approached.

"Hello Love!" he said. "How nice," and he chuckled the sort of chuckle you'd expect a corvette owner to chuckle.

"Thanks," I smiled back and began to climb into my car and drive off.

Then I saw them, the little stash of cards I keep in my door just in case. I was reminded of my mission and the message which meant that even this man (who was somehow intimidating to me because he owned a Corvette) was also LOVE.

I boldly stood and asked, "Would you like to have a card? You could pass it on!"

He readily took the card. He saw the website handwritten on the back and asked what it was, if it was my website. So I gave as brief an explanation as possible about a group of friends out to spread a little love with this experiment to see how it made people feel. He smiled and thanked me and said in half an hour he was taking a Lovely Lady out to lunch. He would give the card to her.

"Perfect," I said, and we said our thank you's and goodbye's and have a nice day's and parted ways.

I saw today -- in a fresh light -- the power of our little experiment. Because really, who experienced the Hello Love, me, or him? I know that because I took a moment to say it to him (first with the help of my car and then silently before I was brave enough to hand him the card), he was able to experience it, and the Lovely Lady he was taking out to lunch was able to, and who knows where it will go from there but already I feel its energy circle back to me in the quiet of early evening.

Perhaps it's selfish, or perhaps it's a perk, but I'm finding that in giving love we almost always get back more than we gave. Not such a bad trade, 'eh? Somebody should tell the blokes on Wall Street about this!

Just One...Begin Here

Hello love. Yes, you! You there, across the street on this brisk morning in Los Angeles. The sun is just high enough that the sky still looks faintly naive and the air still feels fresh. "Good morning" I shout to you. You look over, unsure, scared, a little confused perhaps. You assess, I do not look like I am disturbed, I am holding a sign. I have friends near me. I am a safe distance away.

I am smiling and waving at you.

You there, across the street.

You felt it then, our borderless skins.

You shout, "I love you too." Then you put your head down again and walk a bit faster. I wonder if perhaps you felt it was silly? I want you to know it was beautiful.

I want you to know that this is the world we want to create. In this moment you helped create it.
It was experiences like this that fed me Saturday morning, the first opening of the hello love gates. It was finding a man smoking a cigarette and reading the dictionary on a motorcycle at 7:00 on a Saturday morning. It was the old woman who walked with me down the road telling me a story about a man who gives her a sandwich every time he sees her. So she is sure not to forget her teeth.

It was the man with the black wig and the white lip liner who told me his story and said of our project, "If the whole world was like this... wouldn't that be nice." It was the homeless man sleeping beneath the freeway who would wake to see one of our signs. It was every honk, every wave, every smile, no matter how hesitant or eager. This is what the hello love experiment gave to me, and I hope, perhaps, gave to each of them.

Now I won't suggest you run right our there and stand on a street corner waving at people right this second (you can do that later if you want). But I would reccommend picking one person today, try to meet their eyes, and silently greet them with hello love. I'm reminded, as I say this of a potato chip ad from a few years ago, something like, "betcha can't eat just one." I bet you can't stop at one. But begin here.

Go on now, you can do it, just one.... hello love

Big Thinking

I'm thinking big tonight. This weekend has been a powerful one for me in the ways of Love. I began Friday with a "hello love" meeting and meditation, which proved more empowering and clarifying than I could have imagined. I can feel it. I feel the message, the action, the result, all as one; warm and thick, coursing through me so that I am at once excited and exhausted.

The meeting ran late and I rushed over to my son's preschool, hoping I would not be late. Wondering all the time why it mattered so. Breathe, I told myself, breathe. From here I was supposed to meet another friend. The plan was to drive until Aedan feel asleep and then the two of us mamas would have some chat time before the boys woke up. I didn't want to go. It made me nervous -- I'm a homebody at heart, and all this socializing was making me a little uneasy. But I went, because when she had called to invite me days before it felt so comforting and I trusted this initial impulse.

I asked her advice as an extroverted homemaker and she replied with some matter of fact answers. She also brought up God.

I would tell you at first breath that I am not a religious person. I would tell you that I am NOT against organized religion, but it is not for me. I would tell you that from what I know, Jesus was an amazing man but no more the son of God than you or me. I would tell you that God’s power is no more or less real than Mother Earth's. I will tell you all this, but I have not yet had the chance to tell my friend. However, the amazing thing is, I did not need to. She told me of a book she was reading with a book group through her church. The book spoke about the love of God. The book says that God sees you without judgment. That he sees you in your entirety and loves you right off the bat, and no matter what, for all eternity. Suddenly in this moment, sitting at her kitchen table, I dropped all my guards. I took a great deep breath in, nodded, and said in a voice that came from my belly, “Yes.”

All of these things we do as devout (or not) followers of our religions, are done to bring us closer to our God. But what is any God if not Love? What is more powerful than embodying that Love? In that moment of looking a stranger in the eye and loving them, right off the bat, and no matter what, I, you, we, are close to God. I dare say, we are one with God. This is the reason we are here. To learn the power of Love. To feel the power of Love. To use the power of Love.